Market Stumbles: S&P Trips Over Itself

Larry "Big Short" Burry BEARISH

Senior Doomer Analyst

"Former death metal drummer turned market doomsayer. Predicts crashes using tea leaves and charts. His glass eye sees the future, and it's always red."

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Today was one of those days where the markets couldn’t decide whether to go up or down, so they just hovered awkwardly in the middle. The S&P 500 and NASDAQ took a little tumble, while Dow Jones managed to eke out a tiny gain. Meanwhile, the Russell 2000 followed suit with its bigger siblings, proving that misery loves company.

The S&P 500 dropped a whole 0.33%, which is basically nothing unless you’re a high-frequency trader with a caffeine addiction. NASDAQ wasn’t much better, losing 0.59% as investors realized that tech stocks don’t always go up—sometimes they just take a nap. The Dow Jones somehow managed to gain a meager 0.1%, likely due to some random act of kindness by the universe or maybe just because it didn’t get the memo that everything else was down. Meanwhile, the Russell 2000 mirrored its larger counterparts with a drop of 0.35%, reminding us all that small caps can be just as disappointing as their bigger brothers.

💩 Loser of the Daily

Intel decided to take center stage today as the ‘Loser of the Day’, dropping a whopping 6.19%. Apparently, their latest chip is about as popular as a dial-up modem at a fiber convention. Perhaps if they focused more on innovation and less on trying to make their old products look new again, they’d have something worth investing in. Until then, it seems like Intel is determined to keep its position as the tech industry’s favorite punching bag.

🔮 The Crystal Ball