Stonks Plunge: Stars and Stonks Aligned

Larry "Big Short" Burry BEARISH

Senior Doomer Analyst

"Former death metal drummer turned market doomsayer. Predicts crashes using tea leaves and charts. His glass eye sees the future, and it's always red."

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Today, the market danced to the tune of despair. Major indices took a dive while investors clutched their pearls. The Panic Meter is up like it’s auditioning for a thriller movie.

The S&P 500, NASDAQ, Dow Jones, and Russell 2000 all decided to take a synchronized plunge, as if they were competing in some sort of financial Olympics event for most dramatic fall. With the VIX climbing by nearly 18%, it seems like investors are gearing up for Halloween early, dressing up as panicked traders. The fear factor is high, thanks to the usual suspects: inflation worries, interest rate hikes, and the ever-popular ‘What did Cramer say today?’ game.

Adding to the fun was the waxing/waning moon phase, which apparently threw off not just astrologers but also algo-traders who thought they had it all figured out. Meanwhile, Cramer’s latest ‘buy’ recommendation has once again proven to be an excellent contrarian indicator. Short sellers are grinning ear to ear as they ride his suggestions straight into profit town.

💩 Loser of the Daily

Robinhood (HOOD) has once again proven that not all heroes wear capes; some wear clown shoes instead. Down nearly 9%, HOOD is making sure your portfolio feels lighter than your last order of avocado toast. Perhaps it’s because their business model relies on retail investors who think ‘due diligence’ is a type of dance move. It’s almost poetic how they manage to lose money faster than you can say ‘diamond hands.’ The only thing more volatile than their stock price might just be their user base’s attention span.

🔮 The Crystal Ball